Still moving in a new direction

[mleigh4]

Thanks for the soft 2x4 guys. I have been dwelling on bad times, in lieu of H spew. I hate how he can still bring me into this dark place. I am waking back up, thanks to the push.

H TM me last night, a reminder to have S contact his parents to thank them for his birthday gifts. My first thought was, they are your parents, he can do that when he is with you tomorrow. I did not answer his TM and went about my night.

This morning, I re-read your posts to me, and read Irish post about having good memories with W, when it hit me, what am I doing? I always have S thank people, I am just having a pissy fit of anger towards them. I have worked through much of my anger with H, but now it seems to have latched onto his parents. It doesn't feel good and not like the person I want to be.

I had S call his grandparents this morning. I figured they would not answer, seeing my number! Lol. MIL didn't, but FIL did and made a point to tell S to tell me he said hi. I knew I did the right thing.

Dropped off S to H today. H was going to pick up S, then got tied up in a yelling match with Amazon for not properly shipping S gift in time. He ordered S gift one day before his birthday, but is ticked at Amazon for messing up the shipping....

I see a pattern with H here recently in the last month......fought with his company for not reimbursing him for expenses quick enough, fought with airline over missed flight, fought with me, fought with Bask in Robbins over cake he ordered for S not looking good enough, and fought with Amazon today over late shipping. He is on an anger roll and clearly not seeing any part he has in it.

Anyway, I was light and bright at drop off. I didn't want to drop off S with a grump, so I did my best to cheer H up. Lots of smiles and laughs. I have enjoyed my day and evening watching movies and being really lazy!

Thanks again for helping me to see a trap I fall into! I wish you all a good weekend