Too Much Time Is Passing By

[HopeRB]

Thank you Thornton and Tim for your support and always knowing the right thing to say to make gal feel ok.

Went to the gym and coffee shop today and GAL'd last night. Did some karaoke with old boss and some old coworkers and I'm very proud of myself that I put on a smile and felt good just to take a mental break for a few hours. I was so tired from not getting sleep the night before but I went out anyway bc I just didn't want to be home. I was also a bit irresponsible, bought myself a few items b/c I just wanted to treat myself but I feel bad bc of all the stuff I have to take care of...

A friend invited me to a show tonight so going to go there. But it is Saturday and I wonder if H is just sitting alone in the room he rents a few blocks down and working (as he says this is all he does and he doesn't go out), or if he is out with "our" friends or with another woman. I haven't heard from him since I saw him even though he "said" he wasn't going to go dark like that anymore and didn't want me to feel abandoned. Even though he knows I've been very sick- still silence. But I'm pressing on. I keep running into ppl or hearing about ppl who are recently engaged, married or pregnant and my heart just sinks bc of the state of my life right now. Wondering if I should not wear my rings bc I look like a delusional fool.