I'm sorry you aren't feeling well emotionally or physically. If your chest hurts that much, could it be pneumonia?
I think when I was feeling so low on Wednesday, I was approaching my sitch the same way as you. When I have my lowest points, I'm focused on whether H and I are going to reconcile. Those days I think reconciling is impossible crushes my spirit. I feel "stuck" and can't get myself out of the hole of despair. Then, something or someone gets me to remember I can only control my actions and my reactions. I can only work on myself and be the best I can be. I can't let H be responsible for my happiness. Only I can be responsible for that. My next partner is only responsible for adding or enhancing my happiness. Just like I'm not responsible for making my H happy.
I just wanted to say you are not alone. The swing of emotions is such a struggle. That dull, nagging pain has been stuck in my stomach for 8 months. I think only time, working through the pain and personal growth will allow us to move forward.
I'm thinking go you and I hope you feel better. Can you get out and have coffee with a friend or do a GAL activity today? ((Hugs))
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
