Looking for a Spark in the dark

[Sparkls]

It's so quiet this morning.
Walked my dogs and ended up breaking down on the kitchen floor. Him coming by kind of messed with them and now they keep waiting by the door for him to come home. I can't even imagine how bad this is for those of you with kids, though the tiny saving grace there is they're forced to interact with you (for better or worse).

It's days like today I really wish there was a fast forward button on life. I just want to wake up in July when I've already started the next chapter of my life.
My friends all kept saying it's such a great fresh start and blah blah
And I just kept thinking how much I don't want to do it alone. Fresh start also means losing my entire support system (it's highly unlikely my friends will be near me and though there is phone and whatnot, life gets busy fast). I just keep thinking how much I don't want to do this alone. I know I'll be able to but I just really don't want to.
Looking at it objectively, in my life I have everything I absolutely need (a house, money to support myself, a career), but I have very little of what I *want*, and although Mick Jagger says we don't always get that, I'm having a rough time finding hope that some day I'll get something more.