That is why I said you need the patience of a saint... And they say, that when they start coming back (it is called piecing), it's waaaay harder than right after BD. Go figure...
Vapo, do you mean with the flip flopping and hot/cold cycles?
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
My DB coach says we can actually believe at least parts of what they say. The point is, it can change, because they may not know the truth themselves. Uphill I've been through this exact same thing and I noticed that every time I responded positively about us getting back together she backed off. Now I haven't heard from her since Sunday, which is somewhat unusual.
We just need to stay calm and focused. The coach also said I should act as though I've had an awakening and will move forward with my life, no matter what. (Even though I'm pretty depressed most of the time!) I'm going to try and project self-confidence, happiness and contentment. I can cry alone or with trusted friends.
I've started posting things on FB again. Coach said, why not? Can't hurt might help... Just don't be obvious.
Good luck to us all. Don't give up!!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
No, I mean later, when they decide to recommit. Although, this could be the tiniest of signs of a possible return. Do your own thing, let her find her way back. Be friendly, but not pushy. Do not offer to solve her problems.
Easy does it. Do not focus on her. She will be cycling violently, there is absolutely no reason to ride her roller coaster...
Ny, although I don't post on your thread or many others for that matter, I do follow you and I'm rooting for you!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Tim, for starters it comes with time. I'm over a year into my situation and have been kicked while I was down. I do realize that these past few weeks I've been cycling more than usual, mainly due to letting my expectations get to high. Even with that said, I'm not saying things don't still hurt. I've just come to realize that S4 means more than anything or anybody and I make the most of my time with him. Do I still want XF? Do I still love XF? The answer to both is yes. The difference is I now know I don't NEED her. Keep your head up buddy, it gets better.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Uneventful S4 swaps last night and again this morning. Something is getting the best of XF but I already asked once so no need to bring it up again. Deep down I kinda hope it is guilt and shame from talking out of both sides of her mouth but I'll prolly never know. I just wish the XF of weeks prior would show herself again or the XF who I despise would come back. Either way would make my decisions easier. I hate the limbo feeling, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
If the nasty, slutty XF would show herself, I would know where I should be walking. If the nice, sweet, open XF would come back, I would also know what beat to march to. The in between is very confusing to me.
Also, S4 has been opening up to me a bit. Asked me a few times why mommy doesn't come home. It tears me up. I tried to ignore it the first few times but he doesn't let it go until I acknowledge it. All I know to tell him is that I tried my best. He told me to try again... That makes my heart very sad for him because it shows me he is hurting too. Uggghh maybe a few drinks are in order today to just forget about my life.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Where's V and her party crew? We can have a board party this afternoon! I have wine! Haha
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
