Here again after 9 years and struggling 4

[ciluzen]

Hey, IP. It has been 4 months...my time flies when you're having fun, right?

It get's old, this bit about not knowing what they want to do. I'm almost to that point of not waiting around for him to call...almost. Its still in the back of my mind (I still look at the clock to see if his work day is done sometimes), but hey...26 year habit. Plus he does throw me by randomly calling, much like your H just showing up.

I've gone back and forth on whether I'd want him if he came back, too. But I've decided that this fits an MLC so well, and that I've been seeing it evolve for years, even seeing changes since BD, so I will continue to DB the heck out of the sitch. My D is in full swing, and I believe it will end our M (on paper), but...still standing. Focus on me.

I see your changes. You are writing with a different tone. I hear the exhaustion and toll this situation is taking on you. But I think that is what makes you finally start to really see the importance of DBing, of focusing on you. He has his own journey, whether or not there is an OW doesn't even matter once you get so tired of the situation that you HAVE to just give up and focus on yourself. You are almost there. Don't feel the least bit guilty about that when you do. I think Zues said something about giving up on your M to save it. Drop the rope...be that single mom you don't want to be...you will do it and be fabulous. A woman only a fool would leave. Also, If you love someone, set them free...you know the rest.

You are almost there, strength buddy.

Happy that your Dad's tests were good.