Now what?/ One Day at a Time

[ciluzen]

Thongs? Oh my. My husband suddenly went from tighty-whiteys to colorful striped men's bikinis...the stripes "accentuated" stuff. He also took to showing them off to people, even at work. We all laughed, as it kind of went with his joking personality, but it was one or two notches up from his normal. This was when he had lost weight, highlighted his hair and changed his wardrobe.

Now he has calmed down from that, gained some weight back and is (as of when he left) back to wearing white briefs or colored versions of them. I think thongs would have scared me!

Job's advice, as usual, is spot on.

I still am struggling with how to deal with the various personalities I encounter. Its hard to plan for it emotionally when you aren't detached. You want so badly to not "screw up" the interaction that your anxiety sky-rockets and, with that, your emotions. I guess no expectations comes into play here.

Roommate, business trip. Sounds like a good plan. I will always add "smile" (casual, not crazy fixed) and eye contact. But that's just me. I do it every time now. For years (this HAS been a long time!)when he wouldn't look at me (looked past me often), I would retreat in a huff or even go cry in my room. Or roll over in bed if he was in there. When he wasn't smiling, I would reflect his sadness back to him. What a downer I was! So now, he sees a cheerful and interested listener when he is around. If this is truly about him working through his issues on his own, I can at least offer him a calm, upbeat person who listens. Still doing 180s, I guess.