H is gone now - off on a trip for his job for a week. I'll be corralling the pets and a toddler with the MIL to move us to our new life.
I'm excited.
I'm done amazing him, I'm just leaving him alone to do his thing...whatever that may be. I was thinking yesterday about dating again. Not that I'm ready by any means, but because he wants to...and we haven't even started the D process yet. I don't know, it makes me feel like crap for sure but then I kind of feel bad for him. I realized throughout this that you shouldn't need someone to live, or love. You should be perfectly great on your own and they should add to that, not drain every last bit of life from you. I don't know, something's amiss here but it's no longer my responsibility to figure his life out for him!
The MIL and I were talking about that last night and how he really does need to go off on his own for a while, or forever. If he returns to work, we can work if I choose but I won't be condemned for not taking him back. I don't think he ever will, but there's a million possibilities for my life now. I have no idea what anything looks like anymore.
But I am so excited and ready for my new life. The fact that none of my old stuff is coming with me makes that even better.
