V is for Vanilla 28

[Vanilla]

Ju

i had few boundaries when I arrived here, now I do. These are my Perspex shield to the rants and spew.

My healing began the day I went NC, it's a long journey and I think I will be here for a long time yet. One day I will examine the second issue of WH MLC. I am aware that WH behaves systematically abusive and also in MLC. A little like a man with Malaria having a broken leg (going gangrene).

I am gradually detaching from feeling sad that WH is that way, his behaviour his choices. This morning he wakes a year older wherever he is, an adulterer behaving abusively with great losses in his life, including the loss of himself. I have no forgiveness for him, and I have detached myself from the need to forgive. That is society's demand, that forgiveness will heal me, trying to forgive just gave me guilt. And my failure to do made me ashamed, it is WH to ask his higher power or for that higher power to grant it.

To a large extent my PTSD is my circus, my monkeys not WHs issue. My reaction and my healing.

I truly hope my openness will help others, what they make of it is of course their choice. That My journey is open is important to me, from time to time I read my threads over again. I choose one thread and I have hope that I can heal.

Thank you Ju for being a fellow traveller on my journey.
V