V is for Vanilla 28

[Vanilla]

V, if I could hop across the pond, I'd take you up on that offer.

I have a little bit of a reputation as a hostess and am advised my food is yummie.

As to the PTSD, I"m going to put my professional hat on and ask you what specific type of therapy the IC is using to help address your issues.

I have had two therapies the first is NLP desensitisation with a smattering of DBT. Classic therapy from the NHS for CPTSD. Although that was only 6 sessions it helped a great deal. Classic talk therapy is not helping very much, Gamanon (12 step) helps sometimes and other times not, although generally it works well. Posting helps too as do my studies and research.

Also, as to what meds you are currently taking... If they're not really enough to provide the threshold you are needing in those moments, you might want to consider asking your prescribing health worker about a PRN medication when it's really bad.

ADs are contraindicated in intermittent CPTSD. After discussion my GP and I decided that meds were going to be hard to take when episodes were erratic and intense. I also have diabetes so I am trying healing from the physiology up with good die t and exercise. I had a bad time recently with work overload.

With your physical makeup, and me not being an MD, I can't tell you which is right or wrong and only offer suggestions that have worked with others.

Thank you, I value your support.

One amazing type of therapy that I've seen work amazingly well with trauma and PTSD is EMDR. Fascinating thing it is. To my understand it basically helps to rewire your brain, turn down the vibrancy of the trauma, and helps you to move forward. People that have been through it describe themselves as feeling "unstuck."

I have had four sessions of EMDR. It helped a little. Most of the therapies have worked quite well when I am conscious, primarily NLP and desensitisation has been the most useful with triggers. For instance I now no longer have full blown triggered panic attacks, for instance in supermarkets or using my locker. I can now sleep in the MBR. I even put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and I cook meat with bones and I also buy orange juice, it is the worst rants that caused the damage created the greatest trauma.

My observation is that I cope well when I have conscious control, when I am awake . All of the techniques are invaluable in my self control and negotiating triggers. Sleep and waking when I am unconscious or semi conscious are the real problem. Until I come to full conscious state and I regain control that's when the cPTSD takes control. It isn't every day I can go for a month and then have a day or so of full blown, there are hangover effects sometimes for days until I bring it back to balance. Generally it's reduced from every second or third day to a few a month with one serious episode for every two or three minor ones.

I guess it will unfold in time.

Alcohol and caffeine make it worse so when it occurs so I have stopped drinking if I trigger.

There isn't much help here and very few trained specialists, I have had to research and seek counsellors. I am quite determined, I even got sacked by one counsellor, RD was there for me when I triggered because of it. It was a very low moment for me and I will thank my higher spirit and RD forth at guidance. RD knows how much he means to me.

Just some thoughts for you to take as you will.

I have been self treating with Havening, I think it's helped although I would prefer a guided therapeutic route. This is a new field for me.

I have had Freedom program guidance for abuse targets. My GP thinks I am doing well.

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In your experience how long does this take?

Is there full recovery or is this likely to last intermittently for the rest of my life?

The good news is this isn't a pathology in the traditional sense and of course not organic disease. It's a reactive disorder and there will be triggers. I am told its 'stuckness' or cycling. From my research the solution seems to be learning to feel and to connect the memory to the feeling so it can be processed.

There seems to be an adrenalin interaction, in other words it's worse when I am afraid. That is why the desensitisation worked so well. I think.

I do feel like I am on my own journey with this. Few of the medical practitioners and therapists up have been treated with have suffered with this, they minimise the impact of it.

I sense that early awareness of what was happening would have helped. Whilst I don't regret DB, my view is that in a sitch like mine it is for self and early NC is indicated. I am lucky not to be codependent as that elongates the abuse cycle.

I am clear that my boundaries are that I will never be treated like that again.

Thank you for your help and advice. Can you pint me in the direction of where to look for extra resources?

V