Looking for a Spark in the dark

[Sparkls]

For my part, I was playing with my puppies, laughing at my comic book, watching the TV laughing at family feud but it was like trying to be light and breezy with a stone. The awkwardness was palpable.

[Thornton]

Did you get the feeling that he was trying to see if he could get a reaction out of you?

He seemed just as nervous as you did.

And where does OW live? In Colorado?

[TimR]

Sparks you did great! I get the devastation you felt though.

My WW was the same way when we did our taxes. She kept her eyes down the entire time. I have no idea what that means. Can they not look at us because of guilt or worried they will fall in love with us again. I guess that is mind reading though.

I still think you did very well and hope you enjoy drinks with friends tonight.

[Sparkls]

No she lives here. But is unemployed so who knows, maybe shes going to move with him. IDK.

I don't think he was trying to get a reaction out of me. If he was, he didn't get one. At this point, there's really nothing more he could say to me that would hurt more than what he's already done, or so it feels like right now.

He did seem like this was just as unpleasant for him but I just didn't get the "because I'm regretting it." More like, I don't want to be in the same room with this person.
There was several really awkward moments where he ran out of things to do and was sitting here in the living/dining room, and he'd either start fiddling with his phone or go find something else to pack, rather than sit in the room with me.

How am I supposed to work with that?

[Thornton]

I dont know, Sparks.

He sounds anxious to me. Moving away with OW to Colorado is a huge step. He might be second guessing himself.

Clearly he wasn't relaxed. Remember, the opposite of love is indifference. If he didn't didn't give a damn, I don;t think he would have acted so uncomfortable.

In any case, you did great! Proud of you, Sparky!

Now, enjoy those margaritas!

[Sparkls]

I wish I could internalize your guys positiveness.
Waiting for my friends to get here, I went looking around the house to see what all he took. Weird collection of things
Like he took his french press, coffee, some of his tea but not others, honey, but none of his coffee cups (including his favorite one). Took an extra chain for his bike and the old seat (we bought him a nice new seat....) He took a bunch of stuff that was in box in the bedroom and put in the drawers of the dresser that are now empty because of all the other things of his I had previously packed. Like, weird [censored]. Oh, and he also took the TV and the blanket that had been his for years (affectionately called the moose blanket. This blanket is like 15 years old, everytime it tore, his mom would just buy a new cover and sew it on so its like 30 blankets sown together, super warm and comfy but I digress), and then we used as our blanket until we upsized beds when we moved into this house.Kind of makes me sick thinking of OW touching it. But she already has because it was the blanket on our guest bed which is apparently where she slept while I was out of town (*shudder*)

I guess one upside is at least he's not foaming at the mouth angry at me. But it just seems like we're light years away from him every changing his mind.

[Tyler12]

I know what you mean by them taking things and leaving random stuff. When W left she left what I thought were important things to her. And I am still finding random things that I plan on packing for next week when I see her again. And tell her this is things of yours I found. They are no good sitting in my house. Here you go.

It's not that I don't have the room for them. The thought of them and sight of them brings her to my head.

Maybe pack up things you don't want and leave it in a box for H? I found it nice to cleanse the house.

[broke]

Sparks - I think that YOU did great. You kept it casual, never brought up the R and ended it before he did. Unfortunately, you can't read his mind and know what he was thinking. But I do think you gave him stuff to think about - you weren't pursing, begging, crying etc. You deserve those margaritas! Good work!

[Sparkls]

They made the mistake of allowing the emotionally distraught person dictate how much alcohol to put in these....

[Thornton]

Haha! Get it!