I am so sorry to hear that Red. You are at the only place where someone can say I know what you are going through and not be lying.
Red you are a special person with a special strength. Keep coming here to vent, we understand and don't feel bad for anything you say on here. You may not mean it but that's ok.
I am going to second Broke's advise and just focus on you and the kids!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16