What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Wonka ... I think I've got St. Paddy's day under control! It was never a big or special day for us, so I think I can handle the impish leprechan. My apologies to all the Irish folks out there for not partaking in the green beer.

mleigh4 - the idea of new traditions is very appealing. I think I'll follow your advice. I just never really realized how much those days affected me emotionally. I knew I wasn't happy about not sharing them with h, but I didn't really realize (or maybe consciously acknowledge) the resentment those days evoked that would eventually come spewing out of my mouth. It would take me days and days to get my footing again. I'm so glad I finally saw the pattern because now I can break it. I got this!

Bright - interesting about the internal vs external MLC. I've seen elements of both with my h, but I think the external is the dominate one. He falls into Job's description of masked depression - the A, social life, etc. But I know he does do some thinking from time to time (he will sometimes say "I spent the whole day thinking." True? IDK.) The aspect of the external that I find most interesting is the over-active social life. I have heard so many times in the past 2 years that he has "always" been a social animal. Uhh ... no. The social stuff reminds me of something I read in "The Passion Trap" - they have to find things that fill the void we used to occupy. Funny thing about that is, we are doing the same, aren't we? Although, perhaps in a more well-thought out, life-enriching way.

I'm so grateful for the feedback I get here. It really does help me keep my thinker thinking clearly. Thanks to all of you!

Quick update ...

Very limited text exchanges for the past week - all initiated by him but one (business related). I've talked to him the past three days from the office. The conversations were primarily about business, but he told me all about the retreat (he hated it and won't go again) and other little stuff regarding his move and other things there. I didn't ask questions, but mostly listened and validated when appropriate. He probed a little to find out what I'd been up to or had planned for the weekend, but I was vague and didn't really tell him anything (although I've been up to quite a bit).

I wonder if he realizes how one-sided those conversations were?

As I stated earlier, I suspected the retreat would be a cheeselss tunnel. I don't think it was entirely as I think he did get something out of the program, but it was clear that he didn't get what he was hoping for. I am actually relieved. I had done some research on this group and although the reviews were mostly positive, some compared it to a cult-like thing and that scared me. I was so afraid that in his confusion and search for happiness that he would "drink the kool-aid." He actually said some people there did and he wasn't going anywhere near that. It's a relief to know his search/journey won't take him THAT far off track.

I hope everyone has a good weekend!