WAW online EA and maybe MLC

[Squiggy]

Now those are goals I can get behind. Very well done. Focused on you and the long-term game.

You talked about patience. This is a difficult thing to do when in this sitch. Having to tell yourself over and over and over again that this is a marathon and not a sprint is a daily chore, particularly when it seems so much easier to make the break. DBing works. I can attest to it. Give it a chance until you, ultimately and with a clear mind/heart, decide your marriage is completely dead and cannot be revived.

Don't tell her to file. Your second version of that statement is much better, but it will end up being reactionary. If she wants to file, then so be it. You aren't the one who left the marriage, abandoning your vows, and choosing to be with someone else. Let her do some hard work too. Followed by your statement about the relationship (affair...might as well call it that), and you have a good combination. It begins to establish a boundary, while keeping the road smooth. BUT there needs to be at least a hint of a consequence, such as saying It looks like we both have some big decisions to make.