I think we are in a similar place, Raliced and Maybell. I keep telling myself that my feelings are sure to evolve over the many years of co-parenting I have in front of me. My life has had such major changes in the last 10 years... who knows what the next 5 or 10 will bring...
Take one day at a time and trust that how you feel today is not necessarily how you will feel tomorrow or next year.
