Usually just WH standing there, his mouth is moving and his face is angry but there is no sound. His eyes are the shark eyes and he stares, his body is still a little like a waxwork dummy. He is always about 6 feet away from me facing me. Sometimes I can whoosh him away and he goes for a month or so.
Sometimes if I am lying down I feel like I am being smothered and it's dark. I am unsure of the reality although he sometimes threatened if I fell ill he could smother me. He suggested on one occasion that my father should smother my mother and then stated it wasn't that difficult to do.
WH pretended it was a joke and I was at fault for not finding it funny, my fav cousin and her H were there at the time and it caused serious issues with my family. Old ground that I wished would shift from my memory.
In my nightmares WH is a creeping man and sometimes a maggot feeding from a flap of dead flesh on my stomach, there is an open wound. That's truly blizzard and my IC says it is very strange that in that state all I am is curious.
I just wish I could forget.
Occasionally it's just like being out of body or numbing and tingling, dizziness and I have to sit down, sometimes I feel exhausted and need to sleep. Sometimes I just want to eat sugary things. Other times I can't eat or drink or swallow like there is a lump.
This makes me sound disturbed I suppose although I am always calm until the nausea starts.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
