Looking for a Spark in the dark

[Sparkls]

Hey, at least the housing market in CO is always pretty decent! When you're ready you can downsize (if it gets to that point, but it probably wont~ because you're an awesome catch and she'll get her act together) , get a cute little condo for you and the kiddos and she'll have to figure out how to get her own damn house.

[Sparkls]

Journal:
Captains log, day...I don't even know. 20ish maybe?
Today: I dunno, I'm just feeling a lot more comfortable with all of my emotions. They're still there but they're not quite as strong. I hope this is a trend.

Tonight I'm going to sit on my couch, curled up with my fur babies with some yummy sushi and watching American Idol because I CAN> (I don't ever watch American Idol. Wild hair I guess :p) and read these silly getting over your break up books that my dad's significant other sent me (she was cheated on and left in her last marriage).

[broke]

So glad you are having a better day with your emotions. Sounds like a great night - enjoy!

[HopeRB]

You're amazing Spark. Let that hair do what it will, and hug those fur babies as much as possible!

[TimR]

LOL can't beat a girl that can quote Star Trek!! Sounds like you are making great progress, good for you Sparks. You can do this and come out a better person and if a$$hat doesn't recognize that a better guy will.

[Sparkls]

Looks like my subconscious is paying me back for having a not terrible night. Had super weird/sad dreams (One was about H coming by on a Segway with a snow shovel (it snowed here last night), trying to get in my pants and when I said no not until you leave the A, he left. Super weird).

He'll be coming by in a few hours. Apparently he's biking here from work (which is like a 6 mile ride) and then back to where he's staying (another like 6 mile ride). Seems an awful lot of riding to pick up some little things considering I packed up most of his stuff when I kicked him out.
Friend is going to watch the pups so they can have a puppy play date.
I can't shake this nervous feeling about this stupid encounter though. It'll be the first time i've seen him since kicking him out on V-day. (I'm looking damn good though).
Deep breaths. I have no clue how to be light and breezy :P

[Thornton]

Act as if!

Act as if he is an old neighbor stopping by to pick up some things. Or an old business associate.

You can do it!

NO R TALK!!! If you start to panic, tell him you need to hurry because you are meeting a friend and rush him out the door.

[broke]

You've got this! You look hot, your place is clean, your dogs are safe. Be light and breezy, confident, no R talk. Read validation cheat sheet if you need to. Remember to try to end encounter first. I love Thornton's idea of having someplace to go. Good luck! Keep us posted.

[TimR]

I agree with Thornton and Broke. Light and breezy, keeping thinking to yourself "here is a fool who is thinking of leaving this hot package, poor silly boy." Best of luck to you Sparks let us know how it goes!

[Sparkls]

Well if ever there was a sole crushing experience, that was it.

He ended up coming early because he got a ride from work and then a ride back to where he was staying (so much for the bike ride, and the dogs were here, but it didn't end up being a thing. I was worrrying myself over nothing there it would seem).

But light and breezy it was not. He wouldn't even look at me. He kept asking permission to take things (I, of course, said yes to all of them) and I sat at the table reading a comic book for school.
Few exchanges yielded him telling me out of the blue that he's planning to move back to CO in april he's thinking. He asked me about my IC, I said it was going well and just left it at that. He kept playing with the dogs, they've really missed him (other reason I didn't want them here was so they could just get used to him not being around.) I asked him how his friend in CO was. He said he was well, that he showed him around his job and thinks he could get him hired there (I think this is unlikely but didnt' say that)
He spent a large amount of the time not looking at me, but looking at his phone, texting people.
I did end up asking him when his ride would be here cause I had somewhere to be and he moved everything onto the porch and I left after telling him that if he finds there's anything else he needs to just let me know and that "Ill see you later" (I really didn't know how to end it). He did compliment how nice the house looked and that the new shower curtain was nice.
There was no R talk. I had asked him a few weeks ago if he was ready to talk, and he brought that up this time asking what I wanted to talk about and I just said nothing.
Only upside to this whole thing is that he didn't look great. But I can't help but feeling like there's just no hope. He won't look at me, he was on his phone the whole time. He's asking me when I'd like the rest of his stuff out, he's planning on moving across the country.
I just dont understand how he can just walk away from everything.
I have friends coming over for margaritas but right now, I"m just feeling devastated.