Ojap's Story #2

[Ojap]

Alright...I'll try a quick recap of my sitch:

W incrementally would 'withdraw' and 'keep me at bay' over last 18 months.

BD: ILYBNILWY in 09/2015

I freak out and do all the wrong stuff for months. I have anxiety over the thought of EA/PA. No hard evidence...just that wife has shut me out, and is very secretive of phone/computer (though this has been a source of contention for years because I never regained full trust in her following a 'kiss' she had with another guy when we were dating in 2001.

We start MC in 10/2015. Not much going.

BD #2: W wants to separate 12/2015, but doesn't take any action towards it.

I continue to pursue...mope around...be 'super husband' to no avail. In mid-January I find this site and DB book. Consume it, and begin practicing.

DBing has been effective in many ways. Helping me, primarily. Have seen some positives from W...but mostly she is lost in her depression.

So...I'm stuck in limbo and really don't know what will happen. She claims (last Saturday) that she still doesn't know how to love me as husband any more...and still wants separation. Though, she won't take any definitive action. Of course...I'm not gonna take the lead on that one.

So...I've been trying to GAL. Had an interview today...thinking I will be changing careers (leaving vocational ministry b/c of the stress it has placed on family and directly on W and MR)

Interview went very well. Got the offer a few mins ago. It is Real Estate...and the market is hot...so I figured I would land it. But...this is the largest volume/sides team in our area...and they are pretty picky about their agent selection. (4 interviews).

So....I think that I really want the job. But...Real Estate requires a 'famine' of cash flow for about 4 months here. I've got to convince a WAW that this is the right decision.

Here are the details/facts:

1: W does NOT like my current job b/c of 'expectations' and other family ties.
2: W has complained that she really wishes she wasn't the primary breadwinner all the time.
3: W likes the fact that I pick up our girls from school, help w/ homework, take them to Doc apps., etc.
4: In past year we have paid off all debt (save cars, student loans, mortgage).
5: We have enough money in savings to cover my current salary for nearly 5 months.
6: I am willing to hustle like a beast. Work 40+ hours developing Real Estate & deliver pizzas 3-4 nights/ week in order to pay for health insurance, replace some of my lost income, etc.
7: If I hustle...and we just stop putting $ in savings like we have been each month...I don't think we would hardly touch our current nest egg.

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Those are my positive arguments. I really am not sure how the W is going to respond. I KNOW she wants me to leave the current position..but she also wants me to be 'fulfilled'...and not leave because of HER. She can't handle that type of responsibiliy in our MR at the time...

So...question is....how would you guys frame this. I've already got a business plan, goals, etc. Even had an offer from the Broker team to do a sit down w/ W so she can ask questions.