W seems to be always in competition with me for some reason. Probably her innate lack of self-esteem. Checked her credit score last night and then wanted me to check mine. Hers was a little higher as the bills and EVERYTHING that requires money is in MY name. There are some other variables shown on the credit score screen and she ask' what your this? and whats your? "Hmmmm? I wonder why mine is not as high as yours". I wanted to say because you finally got a real job again (even though it pays peanuts). I have been supporting you for 25 years. Guess that's not worth much these days.
I didnt say anything, but was pissed inside and woke up the same way. She has a lot of "finding herself" to do when she gets out on her own thats for sure. Good luck because today, I am thinking I won't want to wait this thing out very long. She is not the same gal. I will prolly change my mind tomorrow, but the desperation I was feeling is starting to fade a little. No tears for 5 days which is great.
WAS just go about their day like they havent a care in the world. Like telling you that they are done and ILYBINILWY is just part of everyday discussions.
Just kind of venting this morning. Weekend brings basketball practice and my S last game. MIL said she is coming up. Oh goodie! (sarcasm). That wont be awkward. Have a good day guys and gals
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
WAS just go about their day like they havent a care in the world. Like telling you that they are done and ILYBINILWY is just part of everyday discussions.
Agreed - my H just acts like we are going to be best friends. Like I want to be friends with the man who broke up my family and 20-year marriage and doesn't want to stand for it. I completely understand your venting and frustration. Just keep acting "as if". Stay strong for you! Have a good one!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
When my W dropped the bomb on me, after we were finished talking. She casually went downstairs and made a pizza and then watched American Idol. You never would have guessed by the look on her face that she just ended a 5 year relationship with the only man her D8 knew as a father.
I got a test at work today. I was working at a customers house and she was telling me that she had had a bad decade. I had fixed her problem and she asked "oh gosh. What is my bill going to be?" I told her no charge as she pays for inside mntc.. She got so happy and said "oh, thank you. I wanna give you a hug". I was walking out the door. The old DBD would have just said "well, you have a good day", and got in my truck and left. Instead, I thought about how she might be going through hard times and could really empathize. I turn around and gave her a big hug. She thanked me and it made me feel good.
My intention in posting this is not to get a pat on the back. It's just to show that I CAN be a better person and I have made forward progress on me.
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
Well the despair returned last night and this morning. W found out that she has to take her apt by next saturday or have to wait. When she got the call her mood immediately changed to sadness and fear. Moped a bit. Even asked me if i was going to use it against her that she is moving out.
I did my very best DB but it is so hard. I dont know how I am going to hold it together. She seemed to be sensing my sadness a little and was telling me about what a great bball coach I was and stuff. I felt like she felt guilty and was trying to throw me some crumbs.
It seems everytime she talks about future it seems to be so final with no mention of us.
She asked if I was going to be around when she moved. I told her no. Me and S wont be here as he doesnt need to see his mother moving out. We will share custody however.
I cant believe that 27 years together is coming down to this. My eyes are wet as I am writing this. I am so sad right now. What makes this so hard is there is no arguing, there is no yelling or screaming. I feel like a child. Like she is throwing me a few crumbs and being overly nice to me.
How do I get through this week? Do I engage when she talks about moving out logistics? Or am I to be as if guy?
What is the consensus on helping WAW move. I dont think I could even do it without breaking down. Help.
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
I know how hard it is when they leave. It really does feel like the end but it's not.
When W left the first time, I helped her load her car up. I was trembling but didn't want her to see it. I wanted her to remember this last act of kindness and what she was walking away from.
After the last load, I told her I hoped she found what she was looking for and wished her the best. She walked out and I closed the door, and fell apart. Then I went NC.
She eventually came back.
You will find a sense of peace once she is gone but it will take a little while to find your routine.
You can do this, D. We are all right here supporting you.
