Thinking of pulling a... I want to flip the script and make her think I am breaking up with her. I am tired of her saying, "just because YOU don't want a divorce doesn't mean xxxxx" I think I am beyond LRT anyways. I know that I need to set her free (for myself) and drop the rope. Here is a slightly modified version of what I found on a thread about setting them free (link below). This allows me to point out three key facts 1) I know that I WILL be ok, 2) I know the severity of her feelings for this OM and 3) I know that I DESERVE to be treated better.
i don't think this is something a "wet noodle" would do so a 180, too.
I also feel this is a way of establishing a boundary. That I will not accept her actions of having an affair. Not an "if you / I will" type boundary but I still think it is one. Am I wrong on this as a boundary? I am not sure how she will react to the affair part, but I think it is time to “call a spade a spade”
"I HAVE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING.. and here is what I have decided. I don't know why I didn't see this before, but I have realized that this just isn't going to work this way. I now realize that I don't want to be with someone that really doesn't want to be with me. I don't want to be with someone who is in love with another man and having an affair. It just isn't what I want in life.
I have decided that we should work toward divorce sooner rather than later, so please let me know specifically what information you need from me so that you can file for D (she already stated she is). I also think you should figure out something to do with your stuff as soon as possible. Within two weeks would be good. If we need to we can just box it up and put it in the garage until you can afford your own place. I am sorry it didn't work out between us but I have now realized that maybe this is for the best. Anyway, I have to go to my friends and I am running late. That is all I had to say. Talk to you later."
I am open to any edits or thoughts. She has already moved out and is in the process of putting together the papers to file. Going Dark, really doesn't seem to have ANY effect after 3-4 weeks.
