Thank you very much Huddy and Sotto for your reply. It's all new for me as I'm unfamiliar with all the technical terms (it's going to be one of my 180: being more aware of legal terms !). Funny that you mentioned a will Sotto as my colleagues asked today if I had one. I said no and both urged me to do one. Duly noted.
Went to see my big boss to ask for some time off work to see L, he gave it to my with pay and said that he has noticed I was looking better. That was very kind of him to say that. We carried on talking a bit about my situation and he also told me to do a will. I thanked him for all the support him and my team have been giving me since last year. I felt good saying it!
Later on I got approach by my boss, who asked me if I would consider mentoring a new colleague if the opportunity would arise. I said yes! Again it felt good to be appreciated.
On STBXH front I was dreading to meet him as it was parents' evening. I looked good and wasn't expecting him to be there. He didn't came last time despite saying that he will to the kids. He was there even before me! We just stayed cordial hi, how you are. Then he told me that he was unwell and took the day off! I never saw him took a day off in the 11 years we were together. It was so funny as he moved his chair far away from me when we were talking with the teachers and between the appointments he moved room!
Never mind. The best part is for the end. When we were finished, I thought he'd go but he didn't. He waited for the kids to be ready to go. Then he said that he'd see the kids tomorrow, to which I said that I thought he'd take them for tea because that was what he told me last night. He replied that he was unwell blady bla bla. So I validated and said that was fine.
Then he said to the kids that I'll take them for a chippy! I went I'll see what I have at home. We got to the car park and we said bye, then he asked me if I had the car to which I said no. So he offered to take us back home, then added that he'd take me to the chippy. He drove me there, while driving he told me that his housemate blamed him for not sleeping well because of his cough! I validated then was laughing internally as I know he lives with OW! Then he went on to tell me about his plan for the weekend!
All the time I listened, validated. Now the thing for me was I was genuine in my validation I didn't have any preconceived ideas that doing I'd get him back. I wasn't expecting a lift, nor was I to be told about his whereabouts for the weekend.
At first when I saw him I was smiling but I could feel that it wasn't natural, by the time we got dropped with the kids, I was relaxed and was concerned for him as a friend not as his wife.
As far as I'm concerned he is with someone else, so I might as well behave like a friendly neighbour.
