There is nothing you can do to change him and his behavior right not. It is indeed very confusing and upsetting and maybe that's the way he feels right now as well.
The only thing you can do is every day to be a better you. Mainly for yourself because you are yet the most important person for you.
It hurts, I won't lie to you. I still have my moments and it is very hard sometimes. I even think that if my XH was all the time super mean, that would make it easier to just send him to hell and close that door.
But like your H, he is very caring and sometimes it is all about the kids. I get mixed messages all the time, it is very annoying because I question why this and why that.
I guess they are so confused that sometimes they don't even think much of what they are doing.
Hang in there, you are doing great and remember that it is one day at a time. You just started all this, be patient and believe in the process, there is an incredible possibility he will figure things out and will decide to come back. But, it not, you will be way ahead and will find a life full of joy for yourself and your kiddos.
