WAW online EA and maybe MLC

[Squiggy]

Hey cube! Sorry I've been gone. Got caught up and I'll respond the best I can to some of your questions. I'll keep the same format to avoid confusion

1. This is more about how the game changes in two ways. First, since she is in an affair, she is so infatuated with him that she is not thinking clearly. Her rational thought is often clouded by her emotional connection to OM. Think of all the "stupid" things we do when we're "in love" aka infatuated with someone. Look at the actions she takes and see how they fit into this equation. It also means that we have to learn to accept that we have no control over another person.

Secondly, it's a game changer because it affects so much of you and your life. You have to start making changes across the board: protecting yourself, reinventing yourself, taking even more care of the kids, etc.

2. Having the kids full time when you are not at work is an excuse. I'm sure you can get creative and think of things. Do activities with them. Maybe create a new hobby? Do something during lunch from work. Really dig in and expand your mind as to what is possible.

3. Good I'm dying to get mine out and go crazy. 23 F is not good weather for it though...

4. L advice is a good guideline. You're also not detached based on "that if I piss her off then that will effect the outcome of D." You filing for D has nothing to do with whatever potential response she may have. You filing for D needs to be about YOU. Not telling you to file by any means, because I still prayed every day it would not go through. Just helping you to refocus.

5. She might be doing it to spite you. Who knows? It doesn't matter either, because mind reading isn't going to help you. This could be an area to place a boundary, or it could be something that ends up in court. Any time you are refused - document, document, document. You should see the notebook and calendar I had "just in case".

Boundaries: sandi did a great response to you re: boundaries. Where do you draw the line, Mr. Nice Guy? In regards to boundaries, her response is relatively immaterial. As sandi's stated, as I've stated, boundaries are about you and protecting you.

For example, a financial boundary is the one you posited about removing all financial support except for those directly related to caring for the children so long as she is having an affair/leaving the marriage. I'm sure the Ls gave you examples of what the "minor things" are.