Now, the real work begins...Part III

[broke]

Good morning, everyone (well some of you!),

Sorry I disappeared yesterday. I made myself go out and GAL and then the power went out at home. So no access to my DB forum unfortunately. (V - did lots of research on errors of thinking and was really astounded by them - I promise to respond today!)

I wanted to thank all of you for your overwhelming kindness and support yesterday. It was an awful day. Not sure why. But I'm feeling much more positive today.

After getting the call from the boys last night and rushing home to take care of them, the house, dog, etc, I realized that I've got this. Honestly, I handled it all - and I realized I've been handling it all on my own for 3-4 years now. Ever since the H started traveling, I've been in charge of pretty much everything but bringing home a check. And I do a pretty damn good job. Not perfect but I'm way stronger then I give myself credit for.

I've got this. I really do. Am I happy that my family and M has imploded? Absolutely not. And I'm not ready to give up hope but Zeus says you stand for your M at the same time as letting go. And I've realized that's really the only healthy way to do it. I'm going to continue DB'ing, focus on myself (and boys), try to move to acceptance and drop the hope little by little. Thornton and Tim are also right - having a day like yesterday, I've dropped another brick on the road to dropping the rope. Reading another post by Zeus: the H isn't stringing me along, I'm doing that to myself.

It's time to remember how much I have to be grateful for: all of you, my family, my friends, my finances, my health and my greatest gift: my kids. I'm sure I'll still have up and down days on the roller coaster but I know I'm very blessed. I really am.

"You either get bitter or get better. It's that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you."