She has never explained to me why she then decided once more for the divorce all of the sudden... ...I hate her. Not because she destroyed our marriage - now I see I would not like to be with this person and that she would never satisfy my needs
Totally normal to feel both the confusion and the disgust. Just understand those are feelings and don't believe the conclusions you draw on them.
Because if you do you become a hypocrite. Why did she leave? She felt the way you feel, nothing positive, that she'd never be happy with you. The only difference is she believed these feelings were TRUTH and acted on them.
Feelings shouldn't be used to navigate through life. Feelings aren't a good reason to terminate a marriage or a family. And for you, feelings shouldn't be used to burn bridges with STBX. It's ok to feel them, listen to what they're telling you, and honor them...just don't act on them. Act on BELIEFS.
I always say "act with the character you wish she'd had. Lead by example. If you can't do it, how do you expect her to?"
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
