As a guy, I wouldn't be offended if you went for an order if that is what you feel is required to protect yourself. Obviously, you are the injured party here, so it is slightly different to me as your STBXH hasn't suggested it.
If you have genuine concerns that your assets may be used by OW and others to enhance their lifestyle, against your wishes, then I would think the best thing to do would be to go and get an order. You can always tell your pension provider that you wish your assets to be distributed differently, in the event of your death or disablement, but if you were to D, your pension would be taken in to consideration at that time. It stinks, but that's the way it is (the greatest advertisement to not getting married is the 50/50 split).
As Sotto says, see a L. Mine was particularly unhelpful, but did provide me wit a few nuggets. As for affecting an R, don't go there right now.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
