Did the obsessive worrying thoughts start after pregnancy or before? I know through your sitch I have read about the worry about the children and how you worried about something bad happening to them out of your care. I know you worry when the boys are with H. I know you had a traumatic health issue too after the birth of the boys (if I am remembering rightly the Big C- correct if I am wrong). And history of trauma/abuse in a previous relationship.
Undiagnosed anxiety - likely. PTSD - possible.
JujuB I recall you have had support from a DB coach. Therapist/counsellor?
This might a starting place of some freedom for you JujuB.
