I was thinking about you...glad you checked in. I liked to "poke the bear", too when I found out about the affair. I think I thought if I was myself that it would "let him off the hook". So, I sent nasty texts and emails, raged at him and made his life (and mine) miserable. You know what....it just made him more sure that our marriage stunk and he needed to get out of it. That the OW was a way better person that me. So, I stopped acting angry (I am still very angry). But, it has helped my kids see us be civil and it has helped us with a parenting plan, etc. And, honestly, I am not an angry, spiteful person. That's just not who I am. It will take some time, but you will realize that poking the bear is more energy than it's worth. Besides, it is up to God and karma to figure out what cheating spouses deserve :-).
Anyway, I think your idea to focus on your happiness and not let his mood define you is right on the mark. Focus on your happiness and your kids. Stay strong!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I was friendly, even when he was texting the OW ( I noticed he had a special ring tone for her and for me and then everyone else is normal so he knows to limit his texting when hes near one of us or something?)
He ate a bite of my yogurt, helped upgrade my ps4 character, I left.
No calls,texts,nothing.
I left him a detailed baby note on what dinner-lunch-breakfast options.
What D5 has to wear to school for dr.suess week
That the Batman soda in the fridge was for him( s3 got it at my dr appt for free. My eye dr has free good and drinks while you wait and he brought it home for daddy.)
It was okay. I'm feeling okay.
Taking relaxing baths, working on me.
My friends mom offered me a job under the table until later 12$ an hour doing my old job I had 2 years ago instead of 10$ like I used to make. Maybe 400-600$ a month secret money for my purse.
Finishing cna school tomorrow, signing up for My exam next week.
Bought some spiritual candles from this psychic town over near me.
I bought relaxation and love.
The red candle smells amazing and is suppose to make you feel more loved, love yourself, etc not like make my H love me.
Not even sure if its a real thing but it smells amazing and I really like it.
Relaxation is a really good vanilla lavender delicious scent.
I miss my H. I love my H. I'm OK without my H. I'm happy without my H.
I'm feeling stronger, more independent, better.
I don't feel like this is my fault. If it is meant to be he will find me again.
He regretting leaving me the first time so maybe he will the second time around.
Wow Red what a turn around!!! You will still have not so great days but boy have you come a long way. Congratulations on graduating and while you were going through all this. You are an inspiration! You should be very proud of yourself and your kids will be one day too when they are old enough to understand the importance of what you did!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Oh by "leaving" twice..the first time really didn't count. We almost dated in 9th grade in high school but then he dated someone else when he found out I was not allowed to date and the first thing he told me when we started talking 3 years later was he regretting not waiting for me.
Hopefully one day he will regret it again because I really am awesome.
Thank You V I will think of extra rainbow strength when I burn them!
Thank you Tim. I really am trying to do my best for my kids. They Are the most important people in my life.
Haaaay Red, I'm still following you. I missed it over here the past few days. You guys give me so much inspiration! I'm happy to see that you're keeping it together and killing it girl...and um...I'm moving to FL. so maaaaybe the stars will align and we will meet.
You are?! That makes me excited. I live in central florida =D
I'm trying to keep it together.
I had one of best friends text me tonight saying my H was angry-annoyed with me for not telling him why I have so many dr appointments and asking her H(his partner) if he knew why.
He only asked me once and I said follow ups and maybe blood work and an exam.
I have an eye exam I did this week,2 consultations for a tummy tuck (not telling anyone) and 1 follow up for my new anxiety-sleeping pills and my other pills. Maybe blood work if needed.
I'm not hiding anything.
I find it funny that he would ask his friend if he knew or if he could all his wife. I didnt even tell her about them or what my new medicine was. She just asked if I was okay. I said yes, the same thing I told H and she left it at that. I told her if I am dying I'll let her know.
Should I tell him my medical info? I don't think I need to.
I have situational depression, anxiety, panic attacks: from my divorce, thinking of him and the OW and many life. My dr says I'm good at holding it, freaking out(pinic attack and anxiety) then being good again. I have the pills as needed.
Weird. I would've given you maybe Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Anxiety and Depression...but oh well
Glad to hear you are doing well, red. You've come a long way and continue to shine. Really glad to hear CNA school is finishing. Good luck on your test! Another step of your plan getting done.
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
so maaaaybe the stars will align and we will meet.