Still moving in a new direction

[BrightFuture]

Mleigh, I see some patterns when you are talking about the past and some of H’s behavior and how it affected you. Maybe I put it in a wrong way. It is not re-writing the history per se, but remembering the bad moments. I do this too, when I feel that I might be at the end of my rope and don’t have any more energy left to continue to see if H would snap out of his funk. Actually, this is what is happening to me today. Some posts reminded me of my feelings when thinking about the past events in my life, and I’ve been asking myself if I want the same life that I had before the BD. And the truth is, I don’t. I want a better life, better relationships, I don’t want to deal with some of H’s behaviors, bad moods, etc.

I understand why you feel that there is nothing left for you to stand for, that you think that your H doesn’t feel anything for you anymore. This might be just the temporary feelings. Just like you said, take one step at a time. You don’t know what the future holds. Regardless, you will be fine. You are doing wonderfully!