Too Much Time Is Passing By

[HopeRB]

I will take a look at that Tim. I can't totally prove it's still going on and I don't want to bust out the months of phone records and get H even more angry b/c for awhile, they were working together. He says he's not seeing her or anyone so what can I do? Take him at his "word"?

Meanwhile, on my way to a new GAL activity - free intro Barre class. Hope I like it b/c it could become a new activity for me.

[Zues126]

Maybe I missed something, but whether or not he is in an A really doesn't matter unless he tells you he wants to recommit to working on a marriage and asks how he can back that up with actions.

I don't think that has happened, so it doesn't matter.

Even if an A was a deal breaker for you it doesn't matter, because your next 12-24 months should be the same whether you move on or are in limbo, and the truth will be revealed well before then.

So just sit back and enjoy your life.

[Vanilla]

An observation if I may?

There is a big difference between faking it and acting as if.

It is this, if you fake it then your subconscious will reject because it's inauthentic to you and it will be resisted. On the other hand if you act as if , the result is 'not yet' and it sounds as if you are on the road to being just not quite there.

So choose to act as if.

Quit the faking it.

There is a brilliant TED talk on the power of yet by Carol Dweck. You can try googling.

V

[TimR]

Hey Hope, I hope you had fun at your Barre class. How was it and what is a Barre class?

[Ojap]

Hey Hope...
I"m still catching up on your sitch...but I want to echo Zeus's comments. I'm in similar sitch where I cannot confirm an A by my WAW. But...it really changes little.

We keep ourselves alert. However...GALing and focusing on what YOU can do for YOU is what brings health. The truth will come out in the end. Keep at it!

[HopeRB]

Thanks Zeus, I agree whether or not the A is active doesn't change the steps and actions I am taking.

V, thanks for the TED suggestion, I'm going to pull it up tonight. I think the whole fake it till you make it concept is the same as actually doing it bc you're going through the same motions, no? I am really trying to get to that point but it's taking awhile. Something inside of me just can't let the hope go.

Thanks for checking in Tim, Barre is a workout combination of Pilates, dance and ballet. Good for toning and flexibility. It was quite a workout but really good. And a nice break from my usual running regimen. Thank you for asking! I think I'll sign up for the package...definitely a 189 and GAL for me so "we'll see."

[1313]

Hey Hope, I hope you had fun at your Barre class. How was it and what is a Barre class?

It's too painful for an old coot like me. A combo of ballet and yoga.

I'm late to the party - but it sounds as if Hope is on the right track here.

As everybody here says - believe none of what they say and half of what they do.

But you've already figured that out, haven't you Hope?

My W denied her A up to the end, while mixing it in with "it's none of your business" when I'd get close to specifics. That, mixed with a general self-satisfied smugness said everything.

You don't want to see the phone records, you don't want to see any "proof". You know deep down inside whether or not it's happening, as I did. I lived in denial for too long, choosing to believe the W instead of my heart and brain. There's no reason for extra pain at this point.

It's all about you - and you are wonderful. End of story.

[HopeRB]

Thanks for stopping by Ojap. To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about the truth trickling out little by little because it's just one more punch to my heart, gut and chest. I'm also trying to get into the mindset of "me" bc for a while there, I was all about him. That's part of what pushed him away.

[Thornton]

I'm also trying to get into the mindset of "me" bc for a while there, I was all about him. That's part of what pushed him away.

It's funny how that works huh?

We think we are being great partners, but nope.

[HopeRB]

Thankful I woke up today. But I need to get unstuck - I've been avoiding looking for a new main job, and then a 2nd job to help me get back on my feet. I'm not sad right this second but, just like, "What the heck man?" We have so much financial trouble already that its hard to even move and its a lot of pressure when he tells me that I need to move by a certain date b/c he can't help me anymore. I've bee paying for a lot of stuff by myself and he makes a lot more than I do.

Better days, better days, betters days are coming.