Feeling a bit down today. Weather here is absolutely miserable. I spent Monday and Tuesday finishing assignments. I have not heard from H since Monday. No texts, no calls, no email.
No expectations, but really some days it just pisses me off that he makes barely any effort to keep our R alive.
Really some days I just want to end the M, but then I get a hold of myself. I just won't do anything. I mean when it concerns him. My life goes forward with or without him.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Some days just get the best of you Di, especially when your heart is still attached to someone that has the luxury of not showing any love in return.
Keep your chin up, you've been at this for a while now and know that the bad days will always be there, but they're going to be fewer and fewer, and less painful as they come.
What's something you can do tonight for yourself to help turn the corner? Any thoughts? Any great reads you can pick up and dive into?
Big hug, PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Thanks for the hug PP! I could really use one in real life. I guess, kitty hugs will have to do.
I watched the new episode of Arrow. Watching the new Criminal Minds now. Then I'm going to have a nice warm bath and heading to bed. The only reading I'm doing right now is the giant 700 page Veterinary Terminology text book. My exams are around 6 weeks away and I have a lot of memorizing to do.
I did a bit of online retail therapy earlier tonight. Most of the time that makes me feel better, but tonight I kept coming across stuff that I would love to get for H. Like a Jedi Knight patch. He is a huge Star Wars fan. Kind of took the fun out of it, since he really doesn't deserve nor appreciate when I get him little thoughtful gifts.....and then I feel sorry for him to be so emotionally f...ed up that he does not know how to give and receive love.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
I've been out and about the past few days. Doctor's appointment and shopping at IKEA with my mother. That always wears me out. I took yesterday as a do as little as possible day, but ended up going for a massage and monthly blood tests.
My back has been hurting a lot for the past few weeks. I have a lump at the bottom of my spine. My doctor thinks it might be a lumbar cyst. I have to get an ultrasound done to see what it actually is. I'll just add that to the chest CT Scan I have to get done this month and the Functional Ability Assessment that the disability company is forcing me to do. One day at a time...grumble.
I barely hear from my H and he never asks about my wellbeing. The couple of times we talk a week I don't bother bringing it up. I'm getting tired caring about someone that cares so little about me.
On a positive note. Got my marks back for last weeks assignments. 49/50 in the Vet Admin course and 60/61 in the Terminology course. Just finished an assignment last night in the Managment course and 3 more assignments due before next weekend. It's crunch time! A little frightened of the 3 hour exams I get to do in 2 of the courses.
I think after it's all said and done I should reward myself with a trip to maybe Washington DC or Vegas to hook up with the party bus. Lol!
Then I can register for my next set of courses. Planning on getting my diploma by Fall of 2017. Woohoo!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
You manage the whole health situation with such grace and strong spirit. It is hard when the one we love is mindless and lacking empathy or outright absent. I think these things made it so much easier for fall out of love with Mr Ex in the end. All of have to say to him now is REALLY, that's the person you are? He so wouldn't see himself like that I can tell ya. When energy is scarce it seems odd to put it into a wasted space. Sorry of if that comment is less sympathetic of your H than it should be. I just hate seeing good gorgeous woman being unappreciated.
Moving onto the celebration! Go Gurl!!!! The grades are amazing! You should be super pleased with yourself.
I'm spending it at my H's apartment. He is at work tonight overnight and tomorrow night. I'll do my school assignments while he's gone. I sure hope he pays a bit of attention to me while I'm here.
No expectations, but he did ask me to come down here and spend the weekend. One of my LL's is spending quality time. I need some quality time with him. Heck I need words of affirmation and physical touch as well and for good measure why not gift giving....preferably something sparkly. Lol!
What a strange world we live in, can't help but laugh at it sometimes....unless I'm crying over it and the odd time I have done both at the same time.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
