Where will we go from here

[TimR]

Well here is where I am tonight. I picked up S13 and we went up to practice. I forget whether it was broke, hope or sparks that suggested I try and discuss with about the custody decision and do it subtly. Well I did not need too. He got in the car tonight and we were not even a mile away from his house when we had this conversation.

S: "when are you going to do custody of me?"

" I don't know buddy, why what is going on"

S: "my mom asked me if I about going to play for another club once a week."

"Oh yeah what did you say."

S: "I told her no. she said then maybe I just wont play so much."

"She really said that?"

S: "Yeah she got real mad at me and said she is my mom and you treat her bad and I should choose her side because she is my mom"

"I am sorry she said that to you. She should not be saying those things."

S: "So when are you going to do custody of me???"

"Well buddy I wanted to talk to you about that. I want your ok before I do, but I want to tell you all the possibilities of what could happen..." I explained what all could happen from me not getting any custody at all and never seeing him again to me getting week on week off with an order from the court not allowing her to interrupt his sports. I also explained about the possibility of maybe having to visit with his biological dad. He had a lot of questions about that like but what if I do not want to and what if his dad doesn't want to see him. Would he have to.

So I we got there but I was concerned that he still had more to tell me because we were arriving at practice. I decided to skip my workout and drive him home. As I suspected he did have more to say.

It started with her telling him he needs to stay away from me and she was going to start making it so I do not see him because I am a bad guy. Then he told me that she was talking about his dad and that his dad was so much better than me. I did say that she was saying those things to make him mad at me so he doesn't like me no more. He said I did not have to worry about that because he loves me. We talked more about custody and I while I did not say anything bad about her, (and I did say I don't want to say anything bad about you mom cause I do think she is a wonderful mom), I explained that he will have to testify and if he says he wants to be with me she will probably be mean to him for saying he wants to live with me. I know I shouldn't have said that but the kid needs to know the truth of the consequences. He said he would tell anyone he wants to live with me and he should be the one who gets to choose.

Well anyway we are just about to his house and he says this:

S: "If I tell you something, you have to promise me you will never, ever, ever tell mom I told you."

"I promise"

S: "Mom has had trailer park boy to the house a lot. She told me if I ever told you and she found out, I would never see you again."

"I figured she did, she thinks I am stupid but I am not."

So looks like I will have to file. I told him I would probably file next Thursday. And I would let him know before I do it.

Again I just cannot have a single good day... Not a single one. I honestly can say any feeling other than loathing I have for her is quickly drying up. How are you supposed to continue loving someone when you do not even respect them anymore. And how can you respect someone who would hurt their own child and lie to them just to hurt someone else. For the love of God this is her own son and she is willing to hurt him to get at me for no reason whatsoever. ARGH!!!