Sandi's Reflections

[1313]

I wish I were still talking with her. I would certainly ask. And perhaps that's why she was doing it. To tell you the truth - we had lots of bedroom problems, although I don't know if I'd call it that (but it was). She went through early menopause, and her desire dropped like a rock. It was a tough time for a few years, but I just got used to it.

Also, I didn't like her drinking - and she'd want to do it once she was blotto. I hated that because sometimes she wouldn't remember - and often she'd fall asleep. So yeah, it was bad for a while.

Then, my own libido started to fade - and I talked to the doctor. I started on the testosterone. The problem I had was then I was horny - and she wasn't. So I stopped. One benefit was an improved mood and memory. She was complaining a LOT about my memory - but then I began to notice it wasn't my memory. I think this was the beginning of Sandi's "finding reasons and things that bug me".

Anyway, so for about 3 years perhaps longer, things were sporadic at best. It completely stopped a year and a half ago. But now I know that was when the W made her decision. She might not have been aware of it herself, but her desire for me was dead at that point. Funny how somebody else sparked that again. Also - and I think this has a LOT to do with it - she went on a health kick, and as a result stopped drinking (for the most part). I think that she wouldn't be able to connect the dots in her state of mind to notice her increased libido might have something to do with that.

I've always been incredibly supportive of her health "issues", no gluten, always some sort of vitamin kick, cooking a certain way (I did all the cooking) - helped her with vegetable fasts etc. But then with the OM and maybe a MLC (who knows), she started an exercise program and weight loss thing a friend had success with. Started walking, a lot. Got invisalign braces - I haven't seen her for almost 2 months, but I'm sure she looks like she hasn't in many years.

Very sad for me - it took somebody else to do this.

Anyway, sorry for getting off track. I've been doing that a lot.

Yeah, I wish I was in communication with her - I'm sure the romance novels are helping her with her new squeeze.