I'm not sure I have any help for you Hope I can hear Sandi saying that if there's any chance he's still in the A, he's a wayward. Even after the A ends, it takes time for the fog to really completely clear. They have to really wrap their head around their actions and remember the truth about the relationship they left behind. Just like they weren't brainwashed overnight, they won't be converted again overnight.
And I know that's the hardest part. I watched this happen with my mom in a different context (my family convincing her that I was stealing from her when in reality it was the opposite, I was protecting her). Ironically, my bf was the one pointing out that deep down, she knows that's not true. But persuasion is powerful. And now my bf has had 2 other people telling how miserable he is in our relationship. Deep down, he knows that's not true. But he has to come to that on his own. My biggest fear at this point is that he will come to that but he'll be so set in his decision to leave that he won't come back anyway (he' stubborn). So the ground I have to tred is making sure he knows the door is open and I'm standing there with a plate of cookies. My own struggle is the debate within myself of why am I making cookies for someone who would forget so easily all that we've been through. But I know it's easy to lose your way when you're unhappy and don't know why you're so unhappy.
I have no clue if any of that was helpful to you or not. That's just what came to my mind.
Now time for a new thread.
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
