Hi Broke, I am supposed to have been at this longer than you - but feel very much like a beginner - you sound as if you are doing wonderfully - by being true to you.
I think DBing is for us as much as for the MR. It helps me to look after me and become the best me I can be. In my situation, for the first 2 years (!!) XH had very little and only random bizarre contact with our boys and i. Recently he has been in contact with the boys more. This has really thrown what i thought were my DBing skills - as i realise that rather than having boundaries in place and being detached - i simply had an absence of XH
With XH now having some contact I am having to actively apply what i have picked up about DBing - and am a novice in awe of how you are managing.
For me, DBing is helping me to recover from the utter shock of BD. While i feel overall detached from XH, he is not a consideration in my everyday life, i do still have days of disbelief and overwhelming sadness - i guess that shows the depth of our love and rather than questioning if DBing is prolonging my recovery, reassures me it is the only way for me to recover while that depth of emotion continues to exist.
