Nel. I am just catching up on your sitch and all I can say at the moment is that I am truly sorry you are here. Heck--I am truly sorry that I am here, having to tell you how truly sorry I am.

I also had 2 BD's, about 16 weeks apart. I DB'd after the first one and 8 weeks later he recommitted, thanked me for saving the marriage, blah blah blah, until last week when I get BD'd again. Via email!! After 21 years of marriage!!
He is a 49 year old 16 year old!

It seems like you really are in a pretty good frame of mind, and I believe that is half the battle. Go be the best Nel you can be, with or without H.

Me 47 H 49 S18 S15
M 21
BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY
I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16
Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16
BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16
Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June
H leaves 5/7/16