Need help. Threading water, must learn to swim.

[Sparkls]

I was once accused of being the OW when I wasn't (It was a guy I play online games with. It was very weird). I spent a lot of time texting the wife trying to explain that I wasn't having an affair with her husband.
She didn't believe me. And now. being on this side of the table, I don't blame her. I wish I could go back and tell her "Like no really, I'm not doing your husband!"
In their relationship, however, she had had multiple affairs in the past so she's probably projection. but I digress

The point is: what will it accomplish? Just like us begging and pleading with our spouses to end the A does nothing, its' not going to do anything to ask the OP either. Unless they don't know. And he clearly does. They aren't good people. They're flawed, just as we all are. But they have real feelings in this. I know that's not a side we like to think about but its true. Yes, they're in the wrong. They absolutely should've walked away. but they didn't. They're guilty. Confronting them isn't going to make them feel any guiltier than they already do. It'll just drive them further into the A.