This is very complicated. Is there anyway to meet up with some social workers or a type of family therapy to come up with a solution that is best for kids? If wife is being advised by neutral party she might not be able to convince herself that you are using kids to control her.
I think in her mind, wife truly sees you as a controlling villain. I do not think she has guilt yet. Her perspective of you helps to justify her actions.
if you push in court she will Definatly feel that you are controlling. Working with her to figure out a way that you can remain in children's lives sounds like it would be the best for the kids.
I think it would be harmful to the kids to put them in a situation where they feel compelled to make decisions that will hurt either parent.
What makes this tricky is that you feel backed into a corner, worried that you might lose your chance for custody.
