Too Much Time Is Passing By

[kiwiGAL]

Hi Hope,

i read somewhere something along the lines of;
"I hope to use the gap between where i am now, to be inspired; not to be fearful"

Your posts and actions make me think you are well on the way to inspired

[Sparkls]

I just had a thought when walking my dogs. They have a hole that they're trying to stuff full of whatever they think will make them feel whole but none of it does because it's a hole that's only filled when you're in an open honest loving committed relationship. We have to let them stuff all that crap into the hole to see that none of it fits. And then we show them that we do.

Poetic huh?

Now, I just have to make myself believe that every time he's doing some Hong that hurts me. It's just him shoving a square peg into a round hole.

[broke]

My IC actually said that some of the things my H does is to "fill him up" because he was empty. It is just frustrating that our WAS's didn't come to us to help fill them up. They went outside of their partnerships to do that. And, it is a roller coaster ride isn't it?! I'd like to get off the ride now....

[Sparkls]

I always hated roller coasters....I feel like I'm getting closer to just taking myself off it. It's getting harder and harder to see why I even bother

[HopeRB]

So good Sparks and broke. Yes, they are empty and looking for the next thing to fill them up, and in our case, elsewhere. I just reflected with a friend on how my emotions are just on the fritz and I'd like some balance.

And I've also been trying to figure out what to do since I've seen my H this past weekend. Trying to figure out if I should reach out to follow up on something we spoke about. It could go either way: I could reach out about logistics or reach out to see how something at work went (especially since he's said in the past that I didn't support him in his career). But like I've said, when I affirm him or say something nice, he just ignores me. I've gotten used to that level of rejection though it hurts.

I kind of just want to wait for him to initiate. As mentioned before, in the past, he would come out of hiding wherever the heck he is and reach out, and we'd do the nice but random texting thing. Then he would retreat back into his cave. Maybe staying dark and allowing him to initiate after he's gotten a glimpse of an evolved B will pique his interest? Who knows...I guess I'm not clinging to it. Just a thought.

[Sparkls]

If he's still with the OW, I say leave him be. You can do all the validating and DB principles once she's out of the picture but until then, he's just shoving both of us in his hole. (The analogy is starting to lose something X-P)

[Thornton]

I vote for let him be. It takes a lot time to notice our absence. Keep working on your stuff.

Sparks - LOL alrighty!

[broke]

Agree with sparks and Thornton - don't reach out. Let him wonder what you are doing.

[NYGal]

I vote with the majority here. Let him wonder. Be mysterious!

[NYGal]

Sparks, my W described us breaking up as trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, but she still did it. She said she didn't want to, and after she did it she said she regretted it, but she did it. Dammit.