Beginning of the End

[broke]

If she was in a calm state, I would recommend talking to her and expressing your concerns about not wanting to get the biological dad involved, so could you just put something together yourselves? My H and I have been putting together the parenting plan since October and we have been cooperative. It just blows my mind that she isn't doing what S13 wants....

In our state, the courts can ask kids 14 and older to weigh in on what they want. I think if you can talk to S13 in a very careful way and not step on W's toes (not sure that is possible right now, however), it would be okay. But, in her anger right now, you probably will need to be prepared to file for custody if she gets enraged about your discussion with him.

To sum up:
- determine if you can talk to her about coming up with more formal parenting plan because you want to keep biological father out of it
- talk to S13 carefully to determine exactly what he wants
- be prepared if WAS is angry about your talk that you may be forced to file anyway

Honestly, this is really complicated and I am just heartbroken she isn't thrilled that you want to be involved.

One FYI - in the divorcecare video last night, there was a man who said he wrote "that his kids were to stay in baseball" in the custody agreement because he was the coach, his kids loved baseball and he was worried his wife would take them out of it to punish him. Not sure how old the video was, but that may be something to ask L about if you are forced to file.