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otw #2658649 03/01/16 01:39 PM
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NYGal Offline OP
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Maybe 10 days is all.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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It's far from over, NY.

Affairs rarely last, you just have to ride it out.

I've been NC for a month with W, I know how unsettling is. Hell, there's a chance we may never speak again. I dont know.

Just remember that this process isn't linear. You will have a good day full of hope, and then four days of despair.

You will feel good one night, and awful when you wake up.

It's all a part of the process.

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NYGal Offline OP
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Thornton, I get so much out of what you say. I wish we could meet.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Dec 2015
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NYGal, I would encourage you to watch her patterns of contact. How do you guys leave off each time you enter a period of no contact? My H tends to go dark after I've affirmed him or said something nice. Not sure what that's all about. Early on in the process, I started noticing my H's pattern of contact - if he didn't hear from me after two weeks of darkness, he'd reach out. He was doing this up until recently so now I'm trying to figure out the new pattern. This was back when I would pursue him, he'd toss me some breadcrumbs, I'd make a meal and then back to NC. But I've pulled back from that so I'm experimenting and monitoring results at this point.


"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
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After new years I committed to NC for a month. We had to have limited because of kids, but I felt a lot better. It was hard.

I think you need to give a certain time length as a goal. Really try. You will be surprised that she will not forget you. When we did have to communicate again. Things were actually better and still are. Not back together or r talk yet.

But I am scared of pushing for that. I may be going for another bout of nc then swing what happens.


M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15
otw #2658667 03/01/16 02:12 PM
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NYGal Offline OP
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Our contact has been minimal. It might be just seeing her somewhere, or an email about a house account or something. Last Friday she came to my office and tossed some breadcrumbs. I do need to be more patient. Actually, yes, now that I think of it, when we did not contact each other for about 10 days, that's when she just showed up one day. And it was then that there were about three weeks of her saying over and over that she missed me and wanted our old life back. But I probably was too receptive to that, and didn't play hard to get. So she would back away again. I'm usually a very strong and determined person, but this is not so easy and I can't get her out of my mind.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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NYGal Offline OP
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I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,432
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Likewise NYGAL, what is weird is that I'm a year in! Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I so much know what you are doing through.

Loads of hugs ((((((((((NYGAL))))))))

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NYGal Offline OP
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Rouky, did you ever find the Divorce Busting web page?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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NYGal Offline OP
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I mean FB page?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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