Not sure where to stand

[Ojap]

I get that...my thought would be something like this.

"Sorry...today is pretty busy for me. Can we try xx? Or yy?"

This is no where near the same as.

"No. Today won't work."

Especially via text. If it were phone conversation he could here your tone (light and breezy), etc.

Its tough when its from behind a keyboard...

[broke]

I agree with Pajo - don't do it unless you are absolutely on your "A" game. You are still very early in the process and I know I was more vulnerable at the beginning. I like his suggestion for the text, too. Good luck! Keep us posted!

[Sparkls]

I just don't see how he's ever going to come back.
Me: Sorry I'm really busy today and tomorrow. Can we do Friday or Saturday?
Him: Friday I'm off at 3:30. Sat I'm off but busy all day.

He's just out having the time of his life. Why am I even doing this.

[Thornton]

More mind reading.

My W did the same thing when she first left me. It killed me. But we were still able to reconcile.

She texted me exactly one month after she left and said "Sorry I haven't been by to pick up my stuff. I'll arrange something in the next week or so".

I just said "ok, no worries". It felt like the END to me.

It's all a part of the process. Play it cool.

This isn't the end of your story.

[TimR]

Don't just say no. Say something like, "yeah we got to get you the rest of your stuff. Unfortunately, today is not a good day as I have xyz I have to get done. How about we do it on_______________."

[Sparkls]

Him: Friday I'm off at 3, Saturday I don't work but am busy all day.
Him: We don't have to talk, but I am coming by at some point today to get my bicycle. If it's in the garage, I will get it and ride it back.
Me: Friday should work just fine then. And yes, it's in the garage assuming you left it there, I haven't touched it. (Our garage is seperate from the house)

[Thornton]

How are you feeling, Sparks?

[Sparkls]

Honestly: terrible. There has just been nothing positive since d-day. No signs that there's even a doubt in his mind. I don't understand how his life could have been so bad here that he doesn't miss any of it. And I know I'm mind reading and catastrophizing. I'm doing a terrible job acting "as if" he's going to come back some day.
But yesterday, I was saying how despite saying he was done to his friend, he hadn't made any moves to get his stuff, or changed our FB status or whatnot. And I wake up to a text about him wanting to get more of his stuff. (I guess "more" isn't "the rest")
Basically, I'm panicking cause I'm not ready for us to be over.

[Ojap]

So sorry, Sparks. Breathe. Had a buddy recommend that I take 60 seconds at a time. Decide how you will handle the next 60 seconds in a healthy way.

I know it hurts...SO very sorry. Weather this emotional moment and come out of it with some clarity...we're here to listen!

[Thornton]

Sparks,

I know the despair you are feeling. Been there, bought the tshirt. And I was still able to reconcile with W.

She did EVERYTHING to make me feel she was done.

Dancing videos on FB, bought a new dog (she knew our current dog didn't get along with other dogs), she was looking at condos to buy, lots of pics of her out and about and smiling like she was on top of the world.

I was a gutted. My anxiety felt like a 24x7 panic attack for weeks at a time. I honestly did not think I would survive.

I hate admitting this, but I hoped to be in a car accident to not feel anything anymore. It was that bad.

And I still got her back.

My W is moving her stuff out now too, and I sends me reeling everytime I go back to the house and see less and less of her stuff there. It feels like I've been stabbed in the gut. The despair, the hopelessness, I can relate to all of that.

Dont panic. Take deep breathes. Your story isn't over, Sparks.