I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand your frustration. My ex does not have 50/50. he does every other weekend and a half a night a week. It was Friday and Saturday night with a return home at 6pm on Sunday, but when our D was 5, she was super upset she didn't see him much. So he agreed to sunday.
Our custody arrangement had started off him having her 3 nights a week because I worked 3 nightshifts a week. He would only do the 3 nights convienent to him, and with my line of work, I didn't get to pick my shifts. My job worked with me the best they could, but it wasn't fair to others. So I changed my job from one that I loved to be on a more regular schedule. When that happened, all he wanted was every other weekend and NOT the night a week. Too inconvienent for him. I said too darn bad, you are getting less time now even with that one night a week.
At this current day, like I said, he does every other weekend and his half a night a week. His W gets my D to school in the morning during the week that is his. I handle EVERYTHING, eh babysits her. he has it just as he wants it. Last year, my now D8 went though a period of big upset over the divorce and the custody schedule. (mind you, she has known her life no other way than us being divorced. It's difficult to explain why she is with mom so much more, but I simply used the work card. Is it the right thing to do? I don't know. I said daddy gets home from work too late and there isn't always someone to drive you in the morning over there. She's gotten over it and is fine with the schedule now.
I don't know what your text from your ex looks like, but do you feel like perhaps instead of you explaining why he won't take the extra time, you can get your ex to do it? Don't bail him out. I can imagine living with a teen disappointed by her father is very difficult (surely, I will be there one day), but you can't explain everything away. Let him handle this one. Be there for your daughter, but let him take responsibility for his own decision.
