I'm alot like SparkSB: the talker of the relationship who talked everything to death and got nowhere...just talking in circles not resolving anything. So I'm also giving him headspace by being dark. But I wrestle with what TimR points out also and how my H says he felt abandoned, rejected, not loved, alone and not supported when he was going through a rough time. So I'm in the middle: do I stay dark b/c that is a 180 for me, or do I engage him a little b/c he said I rejected him and seemed to not care how he felt?!
And I agree with broke, love makes you do crazy things and bear with things you never thought you would have to. Everyone thinks they know what they'll do in such a sitch as ours but you really don't know until you're present and in it. Also, I feel like the more I offer forgiveness to my H, the less he respects me. And he knows I've forgiven him and that I own up to mistakes. So going dark is a way for me to obtain respect - in my opinion. But I could be wrong.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
