Tonight has been a little rough. I was surfing the web and came across Borderline Personality Disorder.
I read through a lot of the signs of BPD, and W has quite a few.
I am not diagnosing W as I am not a therapist but a lot of the things to look for are there.
In addition, everyone who knows her mother (whom she is very close and codependent with), swears that her mother is BPD.
I guess I feel like there's not much hope for us. If in fact, she is BPD, the only way to have a successful relationship with her is if she was to actively seek therapy and do the work. Knowing W, she isn't one to seek out therapy.
I'm feeling discouraged tonight. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it.
I'm trying my hardest to place my focus solely on myself, but I'm still feeling the sting of heartbreak.
A lot of people here have ties with their partners (kids, homes, taxes etc). I have nothing that ties me to W. All of our finances are separate, we share no kids together, and only my name is on the mortgage.
I struggle with the fact we went to buying our home and dreaming about the future to absolutely no contact in the blink of an eye. Today it's been exactly one month since we went our separate ways.
By all accounts and from what I've heard, she is doing just fine without me. And no, I haven't snooped, it's too painful for me.
So why am I so distraught about this woman who seemingly discarded me like a piece of trash after all the stuff we've been through together?
