Now, the real work begins...Part III

[broke]

Don't defend yourself. Don't debate. Don't apologize. Don't contort yourself trying to appease him.

Do be collaborative. Do reply from a place of detachment and with the best interest of your children at the forefront. Do be open minded and learn from your mistakes, do your best to work within his communication style and preferences, and in all other ways be a good partner in co-parenting within the bounds of that relationship. And do act in a way that you'll feel good about, regardless of his reaction.

Zeus - these are words to live by. Part of the problem is I let myself be manipulated while we were married when it came to the kids. I always changed my plans for the kids or for him. I put the kids first, then him and then me. So, I'm sure he thought I would change or cancel my plans. I thought it was what was in the best interests of my kids then. But it wasn't. My M and H suffered for it and I became overwhelmed because I never had "balance" for myself. So, I now have to learn what his communication style is and figure out how not to be fall back into old patterns of being controlled. It's going to be a learning process for H and me.

Thanks for your feedback. You always add great perspective and I'm appreciative!