Beginning of the End

[TimR]

I agree broke. Maybe its my obsessive compulsive nature but my sitch is always on my mind. I keep thinking and rethinking what did I wrong. How did it get this bad and how didn't I see it coming until its too late. She accused me of not loving her. And I keep thinking if you did not think I loved you then, if I gave off the wrong vibes, how cant she see how much I love her now. For the love of god I caught her cheating and I am still here for her. If that is not complete unconditional love, what is?

I know believe none of what they say but when she says how she felt abandoned and alone there must be something behind it. I look back at my actions and I think me being physically present but quiet is a sign of neglect. I neglected my W and my M which despite the other reasons, I think is what ruined my M. So I am thinking going dark is more of the same for me. I think then the issue is doing it without pursuing it or as Sandi says not being the gay guy friend.