Now, the real work begins...Part III

[Zues126]

I just skimmed over the exchange. I don't need to know the details, who's right or wrong, etc. I just know that you two have to co-parent. Him expressing frustration towards you, criticizing your communication or proposals, etc, none of that is helping the co-parenting relationship. And none of it has anything to do with you.

Maybe he feels he is the 'one up' in your relationship because you wanted the M to work and he doesn't, so he should be able to leverage that to get whatever he wants. No go Mr. WAS. Yes, you'd have liked to fulfill your vows and make the partnership work had he not involved a 3rd party and destroyed the lives you two were planning, but not only does that not give him the right to do further damage to you, your psyche, and your family time, it gives him less right. Enough is enough.

Don't defend yourself. Don't debate. Don't apologize. Don't contort yourself trying to appease him.

Do be collaborative. Do reply from a place of detachment and with the best interest of your children at the forefront. Do be open minded and learn from your mistakes, do your best to work within his communication style and preferences, and in all other ways be a good partner in co-parenting within the bounds of that relationship. And do act in a way that you'll feel good about, regardless of his reaction.

He'll eventually learn he can't manipulate you...or he won't. He'll eventually realize what he lost...or he won't. Either way, you won't be waiting and praying for him to make this discovery. There WILL be a time soon where you truly shrug the way you would if you met a rude clerk at the post office.