Beginning of the End

[TimR]

Thanks Broke. Please correct me if I am wrong but the NC is going dark but detaching is finding a way to not emotionally respond to the WAS's actions and words. Right? If I am right the writings talk about going dark may not be a good strategy if you were distant any neglectful during the marriage.

The reason I bring this matter of semantics up was the idea dawned on me while rereading the going dark thread. I was trying to figure out what triggers her so I could hopefully avoid pushing those buttons. I was thinking of going almost lights out dark and how to manage with S. I was thinking of doing one text a week or every other week. So while reading it and when I got to the warning of if you were neglectful, I thought about how the last months I would just sit quietly and try and think of something to say, anything that would make us better again or even start the conversation. Then I thought of her telling me one of the reasons she knew I did not love her was that I always neglected her. So I questioned, am I doing more of the same and my 180 is actually a 360.

I cannot talk about anything of the relationship and I cannot give the compliments that I would like to, but maybe little conversation starts. Nothing crossing the line of pursuit but remaining friendly. I just don't know about it because it feels like pursuit but it is a 180 from what I am doing now.

Maybe I need to schedule a coaching session and see what she thinks too???