I Think it's Way Too Late

[1313]

Hi Sparks,
Thanks for your thoughts.
You might have missed it - but this isn't even my W!

This is her assistant! Yes, she's acted as a proxy for the W, for the past few weeks only far more obnoxious. Is this crazy or what? At first I thought it was just that she was being protective of her job, and I made sure she didn't feel she had to choose sides. But it quickly devolved into this terrible passive-aggressive vicious ad hominem attacks.

I thought it was a bit weird that she looks at them 10 days later. I was not happy that after all that work she couldn't say "thx" or something. Nope, nada. And my saying "th-th-that's all folks!" was whining. Ok, so be it.

I just wish I could be communicating with the W instead. At least I wouldn't have a "translator" between us.

Tim buddy, you're right. When I talked with J, I just told him the facts, no opinions and let him know in no uncertain terms that there is 2 sides to everything. But the few people I have talked to - that know both of us are shocked at her behavior and can't believe it's her.

I felt so good after I talked with him. I cannot tell you. I don't know what the W is telling people, but I'm so happy I had a chance to at least introduce the possibility of another reality before she did. And I can't do things like this unless it's face to face.

I know that all of the W's close friends have already sided with her - and I've gone from being the sweetest guy in the world to the worthless anti-social screaming monster. Ok, I get it. You found a real man, somebody that makes you feel like a real woman.

But as Sandi says - the WW becomes a different person. And she is. It was like a switch - once she threw it the person I knew was completely gone.

But I'll say one thing. If this D and the W's twisted stories begin to threaten my ability to actually make a living - all bets are off.

I will let some key people know my side - just a few facts. 1) a near year long affair 2)lawyered up with no notice and went after everything 3)locked me out of the house 4) won't even let me see the dog. And ask them to feel free to ask her about any of these 4 points.

Oh yeah, and 5) accepted a pearl necklace from my 89 year old Mother for Christmas knowing she was filing for D 2 weeks later. (that's a good one)

Because I not only need to look after myself, but my Mother. She's the only family I have left. I'm an only child, my Father committed suicide in 1985 and most relatives on both sides of the family are gone. I'm it. That's why losing the IL's hurts so much - they were my adopted family.

I'm actually thinking of answering the assistant back:
"I pray for you and your Father every night", which I do.

Her Father is ill, and while she's been very good at rubbing me and other people the wrong way, I still love her. She's got a bad heart, she's got a lot of self-esteem issues (she used to be a knockout cheerleader in HS) and I still consider her a friend. Just one who has lost her way.

I could easily, easily throw some insults her way about her looks, her weight, etc.. And it would upset her greatly. And a few years ago? I would have.

But now it would upset me just as much as her. It hurts me to think about how full of rage they must be.

I will pray twice as hard for her and her Dad tonight, as well as my lovely W and my little dog. And for you guys too, thank you for being here.

[Sparkls]

I did miss the bit about it being the assistant saying that.

That makes it doubly weird that she would go through the texts again.
I'm sitting here trying to think of a reason for it and drawing blanks. Like, no matter how bad your W has mad you out to be, that's really not enough of a reason for the Assis to reread texts. It's bizzare

[TimR]

I would not send the text. While it may make you feel better for a few seconds, it will start a text war, IMO. It would also give her what she wants and that is to know she got to you. Set your boundaries is my best advice to you. The more she knows she gets to you the more she will text you.

Having said that, my ignoring MIL and not commenting or posting my own stuff has not changed her posting. In fact, just today she posted a new 10 quotes for me. Most revolved around me being a piece of sh!t. ie "today I saw a piece of sh!t on the ground and I thought of you."

I originally thought about commenting on them but thought it will just give her peace of mind knowing she was getting to me. Which she is. I also thought of contacting her son. He asked me when it got to the point that I may consider pursuing harassment if I would say something to him and he would talk to her. But same thing, I think she really wants to get to me and that would let her know it works. So during the times I just have to look (which I am getting much better at, I made it 5 whole days without looking) I just read them and then feel down.

[1313]

Sparks,
yeah - I was actually a bit taken aback. I seriously thought somebody else was texting me.

I don't want to sound mean - but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I'm sort of guessing this was prompted by the W in some way. Perhaps she (the W and assistant) was looking through the texts for something to use against me? Most of the texts are the assistant saying she wants my password, or she's having problems with outlook.

A level-headed person would look at these and see that she's pretty nasty, and the worst I get are defensive gestures. There are a few "ok, you needed this right away - I did it - so what happened?". Like I said, I wish I had kept the VM's, because they dovetail nicely with the texts as far as haranguing me.

Anyway, like I said my best guess is that the W was saying how awful I am - but something would have to prompt the assistant to look at texts. So, probably trying to find something incriminating?

And I was just settling in thinking I wouldn't ever hear from her again.

That "fog" is some nasty azz $#^t, isn't it?

I mean, wouldn't you think if the OM/OW was such hot stuff, they'd leave you alone and get busy?

[TimR]

Maybe consider the boundary of I will not speak or text with you. If WW has something to say about _______________ then let her text me herself.

[Wonka]

1313,

I am puzzled as to why you continue doing the IT stuff for them when you could easily bow out and give them the names of some IT techs who can do your work. Why continue putting yourself in this position day in and day out? I mean you are not the only name in the IT game, right?

Remove yourself and the crazy will stop. I promise you.

[1313]

Wonka, my last official day of doing anything for them was 2/18. That's when I texted the assistant basically I haven't heard from you all day, so I'll assume we're done here. Your IT guy can take it from here - good luck.

That's why this text out of the blue 10 days later was so weird. Why is she going through old texts? Something else going on.

Other than that - I've had zero communication with her, and the W has been well over a month. Unless you call that weird drive-by when I was out for a walk communication.

I'm really hesitant to ask for access to the house again, but when I finish this art piece I'm working on I'd really like to scan it. I just can't stand the thought of the weirdness I'll need to put up with to get that done. It's so disturbing I have to be afraid to ask for access to my house and my things. But I am. This latest "encounter" makes it even more so. Now it's gone from nagging to hate and hurtful insults.

I suppose the thing that makes me hopeful (wow, this is sad) is that if this is echoing the W's sentiments, then hate is better than indifference (to put it into Thornton's words).

Oh, BTW I did text the assistant back this answer: "Every night I pray for you and your Father. I will continue to do so"

Didn't hear back all night.

I think silence would mean she won. How can you come back with a snotty answer to that? And, I did pray again for her and her ailing Father, like I do every day.

[1313]

I emailed the W this morning asking (nicely) to transfer her domain and hosting to her. Giving her ownership will extricate me from any potential future problems I would hope. Then they can just let the IT guy have at it.

Why would I want a domain with the W's name (even though I think she's changing it back to her maiden name) on it? I sure don't want another round of the above.

[Cadet]

Start a new thread please

[1313]

I was thinking you'd be along!


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